Around 71% of young people worldwide are internet users compared to 48% of the world’s population. So it’s no wonder parents might feel worried and even overwhelmed by the amount of time their teens spend on screens—they’re outnumbered!
And we can’t turn our heads without seeing another report sounding the alarm about teen internet addiction. But hasn’t it always been so, as new technologies and fashions make their way into general use? The older generation decries the younger.
On closer look, research shows that teen behavior on the internet and social media is actually quite nuanced and different from what most parents might believe.
Teenage Behavior in the Digital World
When we talk about teens we’re now talking about digital natives as most have grown up their entire lives with devices of some sort. What are the main activities they’re doing?
- Texting or talking on their phones
- Engaging in various social media programs
- Watching videos
- Playing video games
- Doing homework
- Creating
- Multitasking while they do the above
Parents have justifiable concerns about the type and quantity of time their teens are on their devices. Some studies have suggested they spend more time on screen (7.5 hours a day in the US) than in school. These concerns will be familiar to most parents:
- Amount of time teens are spending with their devices
- Negative impact on face-to-face family and friend time
- Teens compulsively compare themselves with others, to negative effects
- Cyberbullying, often linked to schoolyard bullying
- Developing and promoting radical views
Is Phone/Internet Addiction Real?
While we certainly know it may feel like addiction, perhaps it’s time to change the dialogue. As the old saying goes: If you can’t beat ‘em, join’em. How? Well, another view is emerging—beyond blaming the teen or the technology.
It focuses around empathizing with teens who are learning to cope with the new realities of being a digital native. So parents and guardians need new talking points. And that’s where it begins. Talk with your teen, meaning they talk, you listen—carefully— since they have a lot to teach us before we can coach them.
The Risks of Teenagers’ Online Engagement
What Are Teens Doing Online?
Let’s take a look at what our teens are using and doing online:
- Negotiating friendships with text and chatting on WhatsApp or other text programs
- Snapchat for communicating with others
- TikTok for learning, entertainment, and discovering trends
- Instagram for pictures and seeing what others are doing
- Making money (or not) as Instagram influencers
- Youtube for videos
- Facebook (least of all)
- Playing video games.
- Multitasking
- Learning: Books, movies, games, educational videos
- Creating art and music and fashion
- Being civic activists
Here are some of the possible negative outcomes:
- Social modeling after Influencers with over-glamorization and sexual idealization
- Competitive relationships
- Friendships at sake for publishing the wrong content at the wrong time
- Drama of social media
- Overwhelming nature of the drama
- Cancel culture, particularly among revolving circles of friends
- Feeling the pressure of unrealistic expectations
And some of the positive:
- Digital literacy skills
- Enhanced friendships in which online translates to offline for many teens
- Learning enrichment for schoolwork
- Enhanced creativity and problem-solving skills
- Instagram Influencers making money
- Civic activism
And some of the challenges they face that parents never had to deal with:
- Developmental pressures: exploring identities, connecting with peers, being liked
- How to decide if something is real or fake
- Whether to accept a viral challenge
- Whether to follow someone with dumb ideas
- Struggle to be in control to have agency
So, how do teens view the time they spend on social media?
A 2022 study of Teens’ Views of Social Media by the Pew Research Center reported they largely view it in a neutral or positive light, saying, “Teens are more likely to say that social media has a mostly positive–rather than negative–effect on their lives. And majorities say social media makes them feel more connected with friends, more accepted like they have a support network, and like they have a creative outlet”.
Is Internet Addiction Masking Mental Health Issues?
Despite this neutral or positive view and the opportunities of being a digital native, teens [1]:
- Are potentially exposed to harmful or disturbing content
- Experience internet victimization or online hate
- Are exposed to identity theft, unwanted sexual solicitation, and sexual predation
With these kinds of pressures at a young age, it’s reasonable to think that internet and social media use is addictive and masks mental health issues such as anxiety and depression.
However, a comprehensive 2020 review of studies that have intensively monitored young adolescents on their phones concluded that “claims that social media and smartphone use are driving increases in serious mental health problems such as depression and suicide have not been widely supported…Instead, it appears that offline vulnerabilities tend to mirror and shape online risks in ways that may further amplify mental health inequalities among youth”. This emphasis on the issue of inequality markedly reframes the discussion.
Furthermore, the authors state that “…adolescents…who report elevated psychological distress in their offline lives are also more likely to report distressing aspects in their digital technology usage. And in fact, the vast majority (87%) of adolescents have gone online to seek information about mental health, while most (64%) have used a mental health app”.
Social media is also endorsed by young people as a source of mental health advice. This is especially so for adolescents already struggling with moderate to severe depressive symptoms. In one study, such youth were more likely than their nondepressed peers to report using social media to access emotional support.
With the emphasis on fears about screen time, opportunities have been missed to develop transformative apps and other uses to positively support and coach our digital natives. Perhaps they will be the innovators who, in pursuit of digital success, fill this gaping void.
What To Do If Your Teen is Spending Too Much Screen Time?
In their 2022 book, Behind Their Screens: What Teens are Facing (And Adults are Missing), Harvard researchers Drs. Emily Weinstein and Carrie James shared data from a multiyear survey of more than 3,500 teens across the US. One of the clear takeaways they concluded was that teens actually want more support from parents and schools about how to handle social media dilemmas, like sharing a nude picture a good friend sent them.
Other researchers also support this view by saying parents should focus less on how much time youth are spending online and more on how youth are spending their time online.[2]. They recommend the following:
- Join youth in their online spaces when you can use this time to learn what draws them into and interests them in online spaces.
- If your child is struggling offline with anxiety, difficulties with peers, sleeping, or school, pay closer attention to how and when they are using online spaces and networks because offline risk often predicts online risk.
Here are ways parents can be helpful. The first is perhaps the most important:
- Lead by example: Be a role model and manage your screen time responsibly to set a good example for your teens.
- Listen and learn from your teen about what social media they are using and how.
- Maintain open communication with your teens about the benefits and risks of online activity.
- Monitor content. Ensure teens are doing age-appropriate and non-violent activities that align with family values.
- Set boundaries and limits on social media use. Ensure these limits are reasonable and provide ample time for other activities like homework, physical exercise, and social interactions.
- Create a schedule. Help teens create a structured routine that includes screen time as well as time for academics, chores, hobbies, and family time. Stick to the schedule to instill discipline.
- Provide guidance on texting etiquette.
- Give perspective on the dangers of viral posts.
- Research and explore educational tools and resources together so that parents and teens can understand how to navigate in a digital world.
- Encourage digital activities that offer educational value or promote cognitive development, striking a balance between entertainment and learning.
- Encourage outdoor activities: Encourage teens to engage in outdoor sports and activities regularly. This will help them maintain physical health and reduce excessive screen time.
- Introduce alternative activities to replace social media use, such as hobbies, artistic activities, and in-person social interactions.
- If needed, seek professional help from psychologists or counselors specializing in teen behavior and addiction.
Questions For Our Readers
What’s your view?
- Do you view your teens’s social media use as an addiction or an opportunity? Let us know your views and why.
- Which of the above activities do you find work best? Why?
- Do you model good digital practices?
- Are you able to listen first and talk later about social media use with your teen?
- Are you comfortable setting realistic guidelines for screen time and use?
Sources
[1] Benvenuti, M., Wright, M., Naslund, J. et al. 2023. How technology use is changing adolescents’ behaviors and their social, physical, and cognitive development. Curr Psychol 42, 16466–16469.
[2] Odgers CL, Jensen MR. 2020. Adolescent development and growing divides in the digital age . Dialogues Clin Neurosci. 2020 Jun;22(2):143-149..
